Melopsittacus Undulatus
by parlor.tricks
Summary: Chell shows GLaDOS her new pet.  It isn't as funny as she thought.


The familiar sound of a lift descending echoed through the central AI chamber. The huge personality construct turned to find Chell in the lift; she was holding a small, covered…cage perhaps?

"You do realize that any unauthorized equipment you bring will be destroyed when you pass through an emancipation grill," GLaDOS said dryly.

Chell rolled her eyes and approached her. She had…an odd expression on her face, GLaDOS noted. "It's not equipment; I've come to show you my pet,"

GLaDOS sniffed, "Subjugating lesser creatures for your own amusement, a disgusting human pastime."

"Actually, pets are for companionship," Chell smiled wryly, "though if I want to consult someone about subjugating things for my own amusement, I think I've come to the right place."

"It was strictly for science. Any amusement I might have experienced is purely coincidental." GLaDOS shifted around in her place. She really didn't understand Chell's insistence on showing and/or telling her every little thing she did: like when she had gotten her acceptance letter to college, or when she had gotten her apartment, or when she had successfully baked a cake. She was always telling her the inane details about her life. Giving Chell suggestions or discussing music with her was merely a way to get her to shut up and test. Honestly, she had no interest in what Chell did.

None whatsoever.

"I suppose you want to show me the stupid creature…" GLaDOS leaned in slightly.

"Oh, I really do," Chell said as a smirk crossed her face. She lifted up the cover of the cage.

Panic gripped GLaDOS as she caught sight of the small, green parakeet inside. "BIRD, BIRD! KILL IT, IT'S EVIL!" she shouted as she drew back in fear. Her shouting and sudden movement startled Chell's parakeet, which started squawking and flapping its wings. This served only to further agitate GLaDOS. She had drawn herself up to the ceiling to put as much distance as she could between herself and the bird.

Chell was laughing hysterically. She let this go on a few minutes before covering up the cage.

GLaDOS lowered herself down from the ceiling. "_Get that thing out of here. __**NOW**_," she said with barely contained rage.

The young woman was still stifling giggles as she entered the lift. GLaDOS could hear her laughter echo back down the shaft of the lift as she returned to the surface.

* * *

><p>GLaDOS stewed in her chamber. It was irrational, she knew it. A phobia. She was back in her body; birds posed little threat to her. She could crush them, gas them, have turrets shoot them down. Birds could not harm her now. But she couldn't forget what happened when she had been a potato. No matter how she threatened, shouted or begged, the bird would not stop. She was tiny, helpless, and… afraid. And that creature was ripping her apart. Had it gone on for too long, she could have died. No, as much as it disgusted her, she was terrified of birds.<p>

And Chell _knew_ this. She had been there; she had seen. A sense of betrayal rippled through her processors as she thought. Chell had done this on purpose.

She hadn't even done anything! Of course, there had been a few threats and offhand comments about her weight. And there had been an incident in a test chamber with a crusher, but she had gotten out of the way in time. Really, what happens in the test chamber is up to Chell's own ability.

But she had not tried to murder her; she didn't _want _to murder her. And as much as she hated to admit it, it wasn't Caroline's doing. She had come to…_tolerate_ the young woman's company. And look what she did.

How could she do this to her? She knew! Chell had brought a bird in here. And she _laughed_. She had laughed at her fear.

GLaDOS drew herself inwardly. "She doesn't care how I feel," she thought bitterly. Just like the scientists. They never cared she was sentient. They never cared that she had not wanted to share her body, or that she did not want those cores attached to her, or that she did not want to be controlled, nor treated like a tool, an object! They never gave consideration to her feelings. And neither did Chell.

_Hurt,_ a small voice resonated somewhere in her database.

"What?"

_She hurt your feelings, _the voice gently offered.

"Be quiet, or I _**will **_delete you this time."

* * *

><p>Several days later, Chell returned. GLaDOS had her back turned to her.<p>

"I hope you haven't brought your…_pet _here again," she spat. The sense of betrayal returned, full force.

She smirked up at GLaDOS, "No, not today. Though I do think he likes you…"

GLaDOS tensed in irritation and anger. Betrayal gave way to indignation.

Chell stifled a laugh.

She was laughing at her. Again.

She turned slowly toward Chell.

"…_you know what I find funny?"_

The sound of vents opening and the hiss of neurotoxin filled the room. The smirk of Chell's face instantly faded to a more serious expression. GLaDOS could not help but get a small thrill out of that.

"Oh my God, is this about the bird?" Chell asked as she rolled her eyes. GLaDOS indignation grew into full blown anger both at Chell's nonchalance about the neurotoxin and the bird. She didn't care. Just like the scientists didn't care.

"Seriously, is murder your answer to everything? You throw comments about my weight around all the time!" she crossed her arms.

My God, she really is stubborn.

"Ugh, fine. I'm sorry," Chell glared at GLaDOS through the cloud of neurotoxin.

"The scientists were sorry too. You wouldn't _believe _how sorry they were at this point," she said icily.

"Well how the hell am I supposed to tell one of your regular tantrums from when I actually hurt your feelings? I…" Chell stopped. She looked at the ground for a moment. GLaDOS thought she almost looked ashamed.

"I…I went too far, didn't I?"

The only sound in the room was the hissing of the neurotoxin.

"Oh wow…I really did go too far…" Chell looked her straight the optic. She began to approach her.

GLaDOS drew back. How dare she come close to her? What did she think she-

Her train of thought was interrupted as Chell gently placed one hand on her head. She looked at Chell and saw that she looked…regretful.

"GLaDOS…I'm sorry."

The personality construct stiffened. This apology didn't sound forced, nor was it born of self-preservation. She actually sounded sincere.

"I should have realized that it was out of line, I'm sorry I scared you," Chell continued.

The hissing had stopped and the neurotoxin began to dissipate.

GLaDOS slowly withdrew her head from Chell's hand. "I was not frightened, merely startled. I do hate being interrupted when I'm trying to do science, _especially_ by those creatures."

The young woman gave a small smile, "I know, you won't have to worry about it anymore."

GLaDOS instantly regained her composure, "Well then, is there a reason that you are here?"

Chell sat on the ground and strapped on her long fall boots, "Yeah, I've found this new band you see-"

"Ninety percent of all music is terrible."

"You are so elitist!"

As she argued with Chell about the finer points of decent music, she figured she might have to strike "horrible person" off her record…

…though she did try to kill her. Twice, in fact.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry for the double update; my computer derped..._

_Oh God, I cannot stop writing GLaDOS and Chell friendship! I hope I kept everything believable! D:_

_Also, I know I have two fragments, I thought they seemed okay for effect, but if they seem awful and stick out, let me know!_

_And, as always, let me know how I can improve, or any errors that you find!_

_Thanks for your reviews on my other stories! :D_


End file.
